I can tuck mytits in my pants
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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