I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize