why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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