You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
