im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
