In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
