So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
