Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
