if only i could text you this smell
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
