Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
