You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
