belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
