Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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