no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
