We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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