dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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