I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I believe in your delicious
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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