i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sext me about skeletons
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize