I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
