Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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