The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
