At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
