Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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