Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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