I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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