She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
