i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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