My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
