Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake

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  (208): weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake http://tfl.nu/es8r
  Replies (12) Good night (709) Bad night (1530)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be

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  (507): Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be http://tfl.nu/9ozv
  Replies (29) Good night (4680) Bad night (761)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot

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  (417): Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot http://tfl.nu/f7xk
  Replies (52) Good night (5580) Bad night (1686)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  i can respect that.

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  (404): on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you. (1-404): i can respect that. http://tfl.nu/fvjd
  Replies (14) Good night (5017) Bad night (865)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.

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  (205): Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high. http://tfl.nu/wyb4
  Replies (15) Good night (5135) Bad night (1079)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.

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  (206): He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful. http://tfl.nu/c0jh
  Replies (29) Good night (1110) Bad night (3565)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me

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  (807): her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me http://tfl.nu/f0ty
  Replies (15) Good night (4548) Bad night (1099)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.

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  (256): Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence. http://tfl.nu/20hw
  Replies (6) Good night (2478) Bad night (1151)
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  (415): View more from California

  just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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  (415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub
  Replies (9) Good night (2784) Bad night (678)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding

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  (613): Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding http://tfl.nu/o6yr
  Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (1339)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!

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  (415): The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco! http://tfl.nu/lulq
  Replies (5) Good night (1570) Bad night (634)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  (970): He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart. http://tfl.nu/gryu
  Replies (12) Good night (748) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  And vodka.

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  (304): The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period. (1-304): And vodka? (304): And vodka. http://tfl.nu/b29x
  Replies (6) Good night (1600) Bad night (571)
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  (530): View more from California

  He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

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  (530): He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday http://tfl.nu/dy0x
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma

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  (616): His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma http://tfl.nu/spx4
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (143)

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