Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.

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  (828): if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now. http://tfl.nu/f98q
  Replies (14) Good night (2055) Bad night (1245)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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  (440): Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day http://tfl.nu/1jo6
  Replies (74) Good night (3690) Bad night (856)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF

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  (203): THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF http://tfl.nu/hsyz
  Replies (20) Good night (3776) Bad night (1092)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.

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  (954): If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down. http://tfl.nu/14pp
  Replies (6) Good night (3917) Bad night (759)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.

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  (314): Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late. http://tfl.nu/bosu
  Replies (17) Good night (4904) Bad night (1132)
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  (510): View more from California

  i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.

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  (510): i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again. http://tfl.nu/nfnb
  Replies (10) Good night (3355) Bad night (851)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof

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  (412): I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof http://tfl.nu/k401
  Replies (7) Good night (3020) Bad night (660)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.

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  (612): What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains. http://tfl.nu/eu34
  Replies (5) Good night (1704) Bad night (689)
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  (310): View more from California

  Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.

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  (310): Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it. http://tfl.nu/jpod
  Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (417)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.

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  (575): Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier. http://tfl.nu/k0qx
  Replies (6) Good night (520) Bad night (1281)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you

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  (484): Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you http://tfl.nu/s4l7
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (317)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

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  (870): Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants. http://tfl.nu/u5r1
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (266)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.

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  (563): A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night. http://tfl.nu/qzkz
  Replies (4) Good night (269) Bad night (384)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.

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  (218): Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate. http://tfl.nu/leuc
  Replies (8) Good night (1145) Bad night (226)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?

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  (954): So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night? http://tfl.nu/6630
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (188)

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