gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
