Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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(501): View more from Arkansas

i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.

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(626): View more from California

you didnt know i had herpes?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(845): View more from New York

I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?

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(330): View more from Ohio

After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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(325): View more from Texas

She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again

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