Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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