We got so high we made milksteak
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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