nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
