Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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