He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
