Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
