So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
