I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
