the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
