I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
