I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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