Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize