no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
