he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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