half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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