I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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