pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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