i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize