I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
