are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im six kinds of drunk right now
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
