before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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