No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
