I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
