Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
