It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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