In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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