Do vagina's smell?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
