fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
