Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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