Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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