you would pick up someone in the library
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize