There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
