People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
