i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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