Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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