six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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